"... Harder than my nipples!"

Yes. I made a blog post with the word "nipples".
The title is unfinished. It's supposed to be "Finding a Suitable Profile Picture is Harder Than My Nipples". The current one is just funnier.
Most male bloggers [mloggers] get away with a Pokémon or a car. We girls, are unable to do so.
Since most pictures of myself are taken at unfortunate moments where I have no idea about the fact there is a camera in front of my face, I chose an old picture of me (which contrary to what you're probably thinking, is NOT photoshopped. I did dye my fringe blue at one point. I also had red hair at the time too) which is probably freaking you out right now. I can hear people saying, "Oh my God, her body looks so disproportionate! Her head is massive! That fringe looks unnatural! She's really pale! Is she biting her lip? What a whore! Is she single?"
People are thinking now, "She should stop slating herself! She's perfectly good looking!" but if I did go on and on about how pretty I think I am, you'd be saying "God, Kitty. Get over yourself."
To which I'd probably reply, "I've tried, I can't. I'm just so fucking awesome. It's hard, you know?"

Speaking of hard things, an opportunity has come up for me.
I have a [best] friend called Cory who goes to college. He studies... well, radio and television. In Irish. Which I have to give him credit for, that would be difficult.
And if you don't know me well, and you're reading this [pervert] I'm... well, interested in a certain actor called Taylor Lautner. [Puts on hipster glasses] But you've probably never heard of him.
Of course you have. Who HASN'T? He's one of the most fucking gorgeous people on the planet since Ash Ketchum from Pokémon. And Ash was a sexy mother fucker.
Anyway, I have no way of knowing if this would happen or not, but Cory's professor used to work with Taylor Lautner. Also, he MIGHT (I can't stress the might enough) be inviting him over to do a short movie. And they need a girl around my age to be the main female lead. I'm my age and Cory knows me. I've been in a drama club for the past 7 years, so that might help.
God I hope this works out. But not in a Black Swan way. I don't exactly want to be anorexic and masturbate.  Or have a sexual encounter with my opponent. Wait, depends on who it is...

Toodle pip mloggers and floggers. Or mfloggers. Whatever you are, good fly. Following this blog has no side effects. So what's the harm? ;3